"Wait"

>> Wednesday, January 19, 2011



For those of you who know me well, you would know that I am a total sucker for poetry.
I love the beauty of the words and the flow of another's soul giving me goosebumps and just all the emotions wrapped up in a few lyrical lines.
Ahhh yes, I LOVE it!
While I can spend hours pouring over a poem book and getting the chills, it is rare that I come across a work as life changing and inspiring as the one I am going to share here.

As has been the theme in my posts for a few years now but a lot this past year; I am waiting... waiting for God.
Waiting for direction, waiting for providence, waiting for people... lots and lots of waiting and we all know how much I adore waiting (NOT!).

However it seems that at this point in my life waiting and doing faithfully what I was given last to do seems to totally dominate my existence! ;-)

With that in mind, it is of little surprise that the following poem made me stop short and suddenly realize how much I need to appreciate the waiting God has given me!
What a blessing!
What a tragedy to miss such marvelous lessons!!

Now without further adieu...

"WAIT"

"Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;

Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .

And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?

By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate

Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?

I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,

Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,

We need but to ask, and we shall receive.

And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:

I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,

As my Master replied again, "Wait."

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,

And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .

and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.

I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.

I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.

You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.

You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.

You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;

You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.

You'd not know the joy of resting in Me

When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love

When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.

You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,

But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,

The faith that I give when you walk without sight.

The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask

From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,

What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.

Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,

But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see

That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.

And though oft My answers seem terribly late,

My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

- by Russell Kelfer



Photos courtesy of Google... lame I know but I didn't have anything in my portfolio that correctly depicted what I wanted and I was in too much of a hurry to take something ;-)

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Catch a Grenade

>> Thursday, January 13, 2011

When I got in the car on my way to church last night, the radio was already set to some pop station and Bruno Mars “Catch grenade” was playing. I kinda like that song so I left it play, totally unawares at how it just might be used in my life…. It came to the very end where he says :


But darling I’ll still I catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for you
I’d jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you

I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for you baby;
But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no….

After hearing all what he would go through for her, I was admittedly getting a little indignant at the girl what inspired such a song; I mean what kind of idiot and selfish you-know-what would put a guy through that and wow what a ….oh my word.….that girl….is me.

When I look at it from a spiritual standpoint and if Christ was singing me that song… it would be true.
He went through all that pain, the crucifixion, hell and He went full knowing that He died for sins that were never regretted.
He was dying for people who would never care.
He was doing it knowing that they would never do the same and even never love Him, but He still gave them the chance.
And me... oh my word, I have had this revelation time and time again it seems, but I never fully learn the depth of my depravity when it comes to loving Christ.
I see myself take His sacrifice for granted just like that girl in the song, but worse… so much worse, and I ask myself, “How could I!?” .
I entirely underestimate my sinful fallen depraved nature and just how unbelievably steeped in sin I am.
I cannot even love Him with the true love that He deserves without His hand upon me to lift my soul a little bit out of the mire so that I can begin to love.
I truly am nothing without Him…but how often do I truly come to grips with that fact. Needless to say, I am unworthy but blessed and the least I can do is completely offer my life back to Him. No strings attached.
Oh and I will never listen to that Bruno Mars song the same way again!


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Philosophy

>> Saturday, January 8, 2011


"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
~ Audrey Hepburn

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A few random Musings...

>> Friday, January 7, 2011


When I was little it seemed like an eternity in between my birthdays and I remember my parents telling me that when I got older the years would fly by… I had no idea how right they would be.
One year ago today I was in Mexico “figuring out what to do with my life”. I came back with a plan and a few short weeks later my plan was history and I was on a plane to Seattle for an indefinite amount of time. A year later I am back at that “plan” making crossroads and for some reason I still haven’t learned the art of total flexibility with my dreams, goals and life before Christ.
The last two weeks have been a blur of ideas, emotions, and thoughts; all of which are supposed to somehow magically appear into ‘yellow brick road’ for me to follow.
Yet, what if the road doesn’t materialize, and I end up tripping over random debris all year trying to figure out what the heck I am supposed to do and where I belong?
Am I surrendered enough to God’s plan, to lay mine down and blindly put my hand out and follow?
When all is said and done when I look back a year from now, will I truly be able to say:
Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
Toward home a land that I’ll never see
I am changing: less and less asleep
Made of different stuff than when I began
And I have sensed it all along
Fast approaching is the day

When the world has fallen out from under meI’ll be found in you still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their kneesWhen time and space are through
Ill be found in you



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Family Photoshoot (Michael and Sarah)

>> Wednesday, January 5, 2011





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A year or so...

>> Tuesday, January 4, 2011



And how....



Things change... =)


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