Unforgettable

Today I met a young man that I haven't been able to get out of my mind.

I was sitting as the only white girl in the back of the bus with several ghetto dudes who were dealing pot. Right there in front of me, packing the bags and passing the money and everything. I had Solly in my lap and we were reading stories; trying to ignore the marijuana market, foul language, lingering cigarette smell, and several days worth of BO surrounding us.

I was feeling very vulnerable and scared back there kinda hoping that they would just get off and this wouldn’t go south. The ring leader (aka the young man with the big bag of weed) spoke up and told me my baby was really cute and nice. I thanked him and then, out of the blue, he said with a particular indignation and sadness, "So that is what you got huh? Boyfriend just left you and left the lil man huh?" I clarified that I was the nanny and he complimented my nannying saying I was a great nanny and that he betted I would be well prepared when I had my own kids.

It was a simple conversation, but it broke my heart. He was one of those guys that I could see SO much potential in. He wasn’t a thug, he was just… probably doing all he had known to do all his life.

I am not sure what it was exactly, but there was something that was in him that was different than the other guys. They were all very respectful of me as much as I would hope for from their crowd, but he just stood out.

Maybe it was just that I saw so much potential in him and wished I could have offered him a real job or sent him through school and seen him succeed.

There was something about his tone and manner that made me think maybe 19-20 some years ago he was a little boy on a bus with his mama and no daddy.

Maybe it was the instant connection and tenderness I saw in his face and heard in his voice when he asked about Solly having a dad.

Maybe it was the moment of sympathy and vulnerability or a raw pain that I saw flash through his eyes when he assumed I had been abandoned with my little boy.

I don’t know what it was.

But something about him was different and utterly unforgettable.