Musings from my heart

"Why do we go with the flow Or take an easier road? Why are we playing it safe? Love came to show us the way Love is a chance we should take..."


I have been thinking and praying a lot about forgiveness and love and how they fit together.

I have seen the good side of a loving relationship, yes. However, all to often I look at the hurt side of love.
"Why should I let them in? Why should I let my guard down again? Oh no, once, twice, and y'all expect me to be vulnerable again?! Ha!"
As the age old saying goes: "Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice shame on me"
True in a sense of being wise, but then again, not exactly applicable to true love and forgiveness.

¹⁴For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. -Matthew 16:14-15 NIV

We have all gagged on those words at one time or another. In the past I would read that verse, be horrified, and immediately forgive anyone who I was holding anything against. This time it did not even phase me.
Plowing ahead deeper into my bitterness looked like a much easier option and I took it. I ran those words through my head and listened to countless sermons on the dangers of bitterness unconsciously hoping that something would scare the forgiveness out of me.
Nothing did.
I was starting to get concerned!
"Why is my heart so hard?"
For months I have been praying that God would relight the passion for Him that I used to have, why silence?
Suddenly it hit.
Not like a ton of bricks, but like a strong steady breeze.
"You say you cannot forgive, you are right. You are so full of your flesh that you are unable to see anything past the blinders of your hurt. You cannot see Me. You cannot forgive, until you realize the extent that you have been forgiven. You cannot truly love, without Me, the author of love, pouring My love through you. "

I knew it was true.
Of course it was true!

In my meager attempts to let go and move on I had tried in my own strength.
Halfheartedly at that!

²If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. - 1 Corinthians 13:2

I am nothing.

Without the Love of God running through me I am absolutely nothing.

The first days were hard. Praying good things for the people who I held the offense against, and daily forgiving them within my heart.

I was awed as I felt the layers of bitterness, resentment, anger, and hurt melt away from my heart, replaced with a heart of compassion, love and joy.

Suddenly I could see a part of their side of the story and my heart broke again, but this time for them.

The renewed love for Christ and the people around has begun to grow again as the passion for He who is everything is beginning to splutter and spark once again in to flame.

There is still a very long way to go and this is just the beginning of the trail.
But it is a beginning!



" I loved once and my heart was broken, I loved twice and you walked away. I will love again but this time not I, but my Everything will Love with an everlasting Love"

"Don't let your lights go down Don't let your fire burn out"






*Quotes in italics at the beginning and end are from "The lost get found" -Britt Nicole