True Love

I have had something overwhelming creeping over my heart the past few weeks and more intensely the past few days. I hope that I can share this in a way that does not sound like random gibberish but in a manner that speaks to your heart as it has been speaking to mine.

Those of you who know me well know that my number one dream in life is to be pursued, captured, and carried away by my very own prince charming; to have his babies and live a happy crazy life supporting him wherever God leads him! As you also all know, as much as I hate to admit it, there really is no such man on the horizon. I know he is supposed to “swoop” in at the last second but seriously… I don’t see that happening any time soon.

Pondering my plight last Tuesday at the “College and beyond” group where it seemed like lots of girls had found their prince charming I suddenly tuned into the song that was being sung (can you tell Music changes my life!) . I cannot remember the words exactly but they were describing the Love of Christ and how He died for us. I have been a Christian for several years and while I am fully acquainted with that concept, it seems God has something new to show me all the time!

Wonder started filling my heart at the vast love that He had for me as I stood there watching these words flow across the screen. Suddenly the song ended and the service was over, people began milling around talking and as quickly as it had begin the door was closed. Bam. I felt like I had just missed something very important and had been puzzling over it… until today.

I had some quiet time putting the baby down for a nap this afternoon and after he fell asleep I began to pray first of all just thanking God for everything He had done for me and how inexplicably blessed I am.

Now in order for this to make perfect sense I need to state that I have been struggling with unworthiness the past few weeks. Mostly just being over powered by the enormity of God and the insignificance of myself. Realistically speaking, He is God and I am dust, what could I ever say that would be of any significance to Him? I would go to pray and just walk away because I did not think I could enter His presence without doing something to make me more acceptable ( I mean, excuse me, this is the Emperor of the universe we are talking to here!) .

Now, last Sunday, the pastor at the church I attended addressed this very topic and reminded me that no matter how unworthy I am (and I am completely unacceptable!) God has cleansed me and HE invites me to come into His presence, regardless! So I was really enjoying this re-remembered nugget of truth which brings us back to today and my praying and thanking God for wanting me in His presence.

Hashing back over the thoughts of Thursday I started praying that God would reveal to me more of Himself, and another realization started to fill my heart from the core spreading out in every direction.

He died!

I mean that.

He DIED!!!

“No greater love hath a man than he lay down his life for a friend”

Not only did He DIE but He died RESCUING me…

He set me free!

He captured my heart!

He is preparing a kingdom for me!

He loved me so much that He fought the dragon and won!

Not only did He emerge victorious but He did it in such a way that ultimately the whole earth will have no choice but to worship Him!

It is like the most perfect fairy tale ever except even more, it is TRUE!

I wanted a Prince Charming, I got one.

So while the desire for a husband has not lessened whatsoever, it brought to more realistic terms a truth I had heard but had not quite sunk fully into my heart. As every corner of my heart was filled with glorious wonder and rapture just thinking of what a sacrifice He made for me, tears streamed down my face for sheer joy and be-wonderment.

Just an FYI, I am having a really hard time just trying to write or even portray in words what it is like and I hope this is followable! :-P

You know the moment in a Disney movie; the music has been steadily climbing, the suspense is killing you and suddenly the prince emerges victorious! The Princess runs out with a radiant face to greet him and everyone feels all warm and fuzzy. Okay, that is like a cardboard box compared to the realization that the King of all the Universe sacrificed His very life for ME! (I don’t think any of the guys in the fairy tales end up dying and coming back to life either! How cool is that!)

I love you so much, Jesus! ♥

I would highly recommend listening to "True Love" by Phil Wickham ♥