Go Down, Death

>> Friday, April 22, 2011

In the car on my way home from biblestudy yesterday I was listening to a sermon from Focus on the Family where they read this poem. People don't really talk or write about death a whole lot unless it is a bereaved family or family member mourning their loss. We skirt the subject because it makes a lot of people uncomfortable and it has a certain fearful quality to it. More so fearful for some than others of course, depending on how you life your life, and who you serve, be it God or not. Personally I dont "fear" death at all. Death will be a welcome sight for me when my time comes because it is the end of my labors here. However, at the same time, I have a very healthy fear (I think) of being prepared for when death arrives and living my life as if each day could be my last.


All of that said, This poem "Go down, Death" has to be one of the most beautiful works I have ever read on the concept and action of death. While it is fictitious, in that we cannot know for sure (until we die) if this is exactly what plays out in heaven, but still, when I think of the thought and the care God puts, even into death, it just makes Him that much more unbelievably great and all powerful!

Weep not, weep not,
She is not dead;
She's resting in the bosom of Jesus.
Heart-broken husband--weep no more;
Grief-stricken son--weep no more;
Left-lonesome daughter --weep no more;
She only just gone home.

Day before yesterday morning,
God was looking down from his great, high heaven,
Looking down on all his children,
And his eye fell on Sister Caroline,
Tossing on her bed of pain.
And God's big heart was touched with pity,
With the everlasting pity.

And God sat back on his throne,
And he commanded that tall, bright angel standing at his right hand:
Call me Death!
And that tall, bright angel cried in a voice
That broke like a clap of thunder:
Call Death!--Call Death!
And the echo sounded down the streets of heaven
Till it reached away back to that shadowy place,
Where Death waits with his pale, white horses.

And Death heard the summons,
And he leaped on his fastest horse,
Pale as a sheet in the moonlight.
Up the golden street Death galloped,
And the hooves of his horses struck fire from the gold,
But they didn't make no sound.
Up Death rode to the Great White Throne,
And waited for God's command.

And God said: Go down, Death, go down,
Go down to Savannah, Georgia,
Down in Yamacraw,
And find Sister Caroline.
She's borne the burden and heat of the day,
She's labored long in my vineyard,
And she's tired--
She's weary--
Go down, Death, and bring her to me.

And Death didn't say a word,
But he loosed the reins on his pale, white horse,
And he clamped the spurs to his bloodless sides,
And out and down he rode,
Through heaven's pearly gates,
Past suns and moons and stars;
on Death rode,
Leaving the lightning's flash behind;
Straight down he came.

While we were watching round her bed,
She turned her eyes and looked away,
She saw what we couldn't see;
She saw Old Death. She saw Old Death
Coming like a falling star.
But Death didn't frighten Sister Caroline;
He looked to her like a welcome friend.
And she whispered to us: I'm going home,
And she smiled and closed her eyes.

And Death took her up like a baby,
And she lay in his icy arms,
But she didn't feel no chill.
And death began to ride again--
Up beyond the evening star,
Into the glittering light of glory,
On to the Great White Throne.
And there he laid Sister Caroline
On the loving breast of Jesus.

And Jesus took his own hand and wiped away her tears,
And he smoothed the furrows from her face,
And the angels sang a little song,
And Jesus rocked her in his arms,
And kept a-saying: Take your rest,
Take your rest.

Weep not--weep not,
She is not dead;
She's resting in the bosom of Jesus.

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Shirt Makeover!

Okay.. so I found this shirt in the goodwill pile that I thought was really cute... just waaaay to big for me!

Case in point...



and....


Please excuse the one eyed dope face, really, I don't look that creepy all the time







The first thing I did was to bring in the back on both sides because I dont really have a very big back and when I put in the elastic for the high waist I didnt want an extra back puff. Highly successful method. ;-)



I then used my AWESOME serger and just made a seam on either side of the back and tada!




I marked the bodice below the bust line for the elastic....



Cut it straight in half!





Pinned it back together and sewed it in a small zig zag stitch (to preserve the stretchieness) at 3/8th seam allowance, and then folded the seam allowance up towards the top of the bodice and sewed it at 1/4th of an inch to made a casing for the elastic.







Wala! The finished product!

It was at this point that I realized something... this looked like a maternity shirt, so, if you are a size small and want a maternity shirt... do this!! I don't really need a maternity shirt right now, but it was a free project and hey... a learning experience!

yep, see... no belly at all... nothing but sheerly awesome abs.. that you ummm cant see O:-)




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A little thought about Christ

>> Saturday, April 9, 2011




I had a thought or a realization of something about Christ the other day that had never occurred to me before. Something that meant absolutely everything to me and while I haven’t really any eloquent way to say it, I wanted to share it with y’all.

The past few weeks have been really hard for me especially in the area of being homesick and feeling like I didn’t really belong, didn’t have my heart here, and didn’t really fit in at all with the people out here. With an unknown future looming ahead of me it is very easy for me to become scared of what will happen to me or where I will belong. There is something to be very highly valued in people that you know and that know you very well and I miss that. Basically, with all the stuff going on at home, I was just really struggling with feeling very much alone in a lot of ways and not really enjoying it at all. =)

I was sharing this with Emily the other day and she pointed out two verses to me. You know those you have read a million times and never really noticed? Yep, those… They are both in Psalms 10 the first being verse 14 and read as follows:
“ But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you and you are the helper of the fatherless”
and the second being verse 17
“You hear O Lord the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them and listen to their cry.”
I absolutely don’t consider myself a victim in any way just to clear that up, but I read verse 17 and it just blew me away, that while I was sitting there, alone in my room, sobbing my little heart out, that He was listening to me.

I started thinking about Jesus’s time here on earth and how it must have been for Him. How homesick He must have been for heaven, to be with others who appreciated and knew who He truly was. To have His Father with Him. He didn’t belong here and He knew that. I have no doubt that He never felt at home on this earth, because He knew he was only here for a time, much like me where I am right now. We know He felt alone and was indeed abandoned by the One He loved most. (Mark 15:34)


I know it is such an elementary realization, but to me sitting there just feeling His presence and His love and knowing that I love God and I am known by God (1 Cor 8:3) just absolutely meant everything to me.


He knows the desires of my heart and He knows how it feels to do what He has given me. And when you give your life to someone who knows and has gone through the hardships that you are and will go through (no matter how big or trivial they are) it just makes that relationship that much stronger and so much dearer. I mean come on people, He heard me crying… and He did something about it!

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Our Day in Pictures 4/8/2011

>> Friday, April 8, 2011


Solly-Polly and I went for a walk today in the glorious sunshine....why I felt the need to go for a walk after already destroying my legs and hind end thanks to Trainer Momma I have no clue, but I think it was the promise of a $1.99 blizzard from DQ on the other end that did it. That and my body's ravenous craving for vitamin D.


I really couldn't resist the pull of french fries and Solly likes them too so we ended up spending $3.70 at DQ but I darn walked those two miles so it was worth it! By the way, Banana Cream Pie blizzard is really wonderful... like REALLY wonderful!! Thankfully for Solomon I was brought up in the upper middle of a big family and I understand sharing and what it feels to be a little person. ;-)


In case you ever wondered, this is what a sweet potato lunch upper lip and ice cream lower lip and two teethed baby mouth looks like.



Solly was an angel and sat nicely on the bench or stood to look out the window. However, there was another family there with a rather ill behaved little miss who threw several fits all of which Solomon found VERY interesting and would not be convinced to look away, no matter how many times I told him it was rude to stare. ;-)






This is us... duh. I decided not to edit this picture really (except my very sore head spot which I removed because this IS the internet :-P ) and to include it, even though it is not particularly pretty or artsy because I liked it so much and it is very much... "us" just plain and simple. :-)




Solly makes my world full of little smiling moments and just preciousness. He carried his "Thumper" book with him the whole way there and back and was not about to be parted with his flowers. Yes, even after I discovered that they were in fact in prime pollen season and his shirt was turning yellow. I had to find him other ones :-P




This is what I got to look at... :D LOVE it!!!




It was so beautiful outside we decided to bring some of the "sunshine" inside too for us to look at and remember our fun when it gets gray and cloudy =)


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This one's for the girls

>> Monday, March 21, 2011

I wrote the following with several girls my age on my heart, and I was going to send it out in a private email, but I never know who is reading my blog and who might be passing through and be encouraged, so here tis!



Dear Girls,

Over the last month or so, God has been impressing upon me something that I have never quite understood the full importance of. Actually, about a year ago, He began a work in my heart which intensified recently and I didn’t notice until about a week ago. Isn’t that just like us, to not even notice that God has been working on our hearts until a year later? =)

When I moved out here to WA the first thing I got involved in at church was a prayer meeting led by a young man named Austin Clement. Austin struck me right away as someone who truly had a passion for prayer and how God uses it to change people, situations and really everything about life. I remember just being so impressed with his heart for prayer and his desire to please God through it. Those meetings were amazing! A few months later he moved away to go to Moody and the prayer meeting fell apart, but God had already begun something in my life…teaching me the vital importance of prayer.

I am a planner. When I am looking forward to something, I really like to plan and prepare and be all perfectly ready and in the best position possible to carry out my goal or mission. I seriously packed two weeks in advance before my Mexico trip =)

All that to say that, in my family and the families of a lot of you, there was always a big emphasis put on the girls preparing for marriage and motherhood; something that we all aspire to and look forward to some day. We read books, cook, clean, plan menus, sew, excel in childcare and slowly collect things in our hope chests…all just waiting for “someday” . We all have heard the ideas of things to do to prepare for our future husbands while still saving our hearts for the perfect one. We wrote letters, stashed stuff, and worked for years to become better equipped.

One idea that I have heard so many times that I want to hone in on was to pray for our future husbands. I collected baby and maternity clothes, various household items and pretty much did everything on the above list, but the one thing I didn’t ever really do was to pray for him. I never felt comfortable because I was always afraid that through various crushes over the years, I would have someone in mind and would not really be able to pray platonically for my “Future Husband”.

God has me in a season of waiting on Him right now for direction and the not being able to prepare was driving me crazy. I just wanted a direction; I knew I had a “go” but where? When? How? The only answer was wait….and pray. In case you read my blog…. That has been a theme for a while, now. ;-)
So, I decided to do just that…wait and pray.


Waiting was inevitable, so I put my main focus on praying, and set myself a 30 day challenge to pray consistently every day without fail and to record my prayers in a journal so I would not be able to give into the temptation to fall asleep or just make it super quick and thoughtless. I asked friends and family to pray that I would be faithful to pray and that God would teach me in this time of waiting on Him.


A week ago, still restless at not “doing” anything but praying, God struck me with just how important being still and praying is. Right now I am doing the most meaningful preparation for my future possible! As I pray and seek His face and just Him, I am building a foundation for my life. I am setting precedence for everything life throws my way. This last month of focused prayer has done unbelievable wonders for my relationship with Him. Just Me and God have gotten SO much closer, which makes complete sense because you usually draw closer to someone you talk to all the time. =) God is using this time in my life to help me become a woman of prayer and someday a wife and mother of prayer.

At some point we come to a place where we can stop praying for Mr Unknown and start praying for someone we know, but while God has you in the place of not knowing I want to encourage you to (of you can platonically) pray for “him”, seriously. Buy “The Power of a Praying Wife” and read through it, pray those things for the young man (even if you don’t know him) who you will someday walk beside. However, as tempting as it can be, don’t focus all your prayers on just him. I am sure he needs it, but really put your focus on becoming a woman “of prayer” in all areas.
Pray for your family, your friends, your coworkers.
Pray just for God, talking to Him and telling Him how much you love and appreciate Him. Don’t be afraid to ask your friends and family how you can be lifting them up before our Father in Heaven and don’t be afraid to pray for yourself too.
One thing I love about praying is that I can do it any time, anywhere. I pray in the car, the shower, when I am sewing or when I am working out and so many other times and places. =)


I love the work my parents put into training me for my future, whatever it may be, but I think the most valuable input I have ever gotten was the words of my father a few weeks ago encouraging me to pray pray pray and to focus my energy in this season on praying.



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>> Thursday, March 17, 2011


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6 Minutes in Japan

>> Monday, March 14, 2011

This video taken from a Japanese News station is a lot more intense than the ones I have seen on CNN or our news stations.

I just cant get over the fact that at the start of the video you see the water first hit the street and the sidewalk is going under... 6 minutes later you see a building float by in the same place.
In 6 minutes that much damage was done, that much disaster and horror for the people of Japan.
* shudders *






For a larger version, click on the "YouTube" button at the bottom of the video and watch it there.

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What does this mean?

>> Tuesday, March 8, 2011








Besides that I am thinking about Katie... ;-)

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Take...

>> Sunday, February 27, 2011

  1. Take my life and let it be
    Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
    Take my moments and my days,
    Let them flow in endless praise.






  1. Take my hands and let them move
    At the impulse of Thy love.
    Take my feet and let them be
    Swift and beautiful for Thee.






  2. Take my voice and let me sing,
    Always, only for my King.
    Take my lips and let them be
    Filled with messages from Thee.





  1. Take my will and make it Thine,
    It shall be no longer mine.
    Take my heart, it is Thine own,
    It shall be Thy royal throne.






  1. Take my love, my Lord, I pour
    At Thy feet its treasure store.
    Take myself and I will be
    Ever, only,

    all for Thee.



Frances R. Havergal, 1874

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7X70

>> Friday, February 25, 2011

Every time God turns me around for a moment and shows me what he has done with my life, and how He has used things that I would not have thought to make me who I am now and who I will be, I am amazed.


I wrote a blog post titled "I wonder" in which I quoted the song titled that by Kelli Pickler and added a few pictures from my life at that time. I was so hurt and filled with disbelief that this would be my life. That my parents would have split up. That my baby sister would be sobbing on my shoulder because she missed her mommy. I remember finding comfort in that song because she described perfectly, how I felt and what I thought when I looked at my siblings. I wondered if things would ever be better and if I would ever ever be able to work past this massive deficit in my heart.

Fast forward roughly 3 years...
The truth is the truth and sometimes it cannot be softened, but at the same time, forgiveness is still very much alive and at work. Every time I see my mom cry when one of us leaves, something in me aches. Aches to make it better. Aches to go back in time and change the way things happened. Yet at the same time I see a little of why first of all God allowed my family to fall apart. And secondly, why He allowed my "Ex-stepmother" to come in and just wreak havoc in my already hurting family. How could God let someone kick us while we were down and how could God let a good godly loving family fall in the first place?

I can't remember where I first heard the song"7X70" by Chris August, a few weeks ago but it made me sob, just bawl my heart out. Not because I was hurt, but because I was healing. I suddenly saw all the ways God has worked and been restoring relationships that I thought were beyond repair.

While I will be straight up and honest here, I still struggle deeply with the hurt Loretta caused me and my family. Yet at the same time, that is something that I surrender back to the Lord every time it comes up and I think it will take a few more years for it to heal completely.

However, in regards to my mom and the way I have seen God using my time out here in WA to slowly work on that relationship that was destroyed and to bring me to a place of total forgiveness and peace with her, I am awestruck. I honestly didn't expect God to work that quickly or that deeply in my heart.

Does it still hurt? YES!

Am I "over it" ? NO!

Sometimes I don't even believe that it happened and that I will wake up soon and it will all just be a bad dream. But at the same time I understand that what is done is done and He has been SO gracious to provide the grace to carry on in love.

I really don't have a dramatic ending for this post so I will just imbedd the video (Umm use the video in the link above when I first referenced it for the official music video that wont let me Embed!) and say one more thing.





I love you mommy!

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Grandma Nancy and Wisdom

>> Wednesday, February 16, 2011


By natural roots and as long as I can remember I have always been very sentimental. I saved special things and kept them forever just because they reminded me of a time or person.


Ya, I just finally got rid of my Bookit! pin with all the little silver stickers that I had when I was 6ish? (mom?) to be rewarded by pizza hut for my reading (mostly just to get free pizza though).


I also have this weakness when it comes to hand written notes and when I get one I pretty much hang on to it forever. I keep a manila envelope full of little notes with “I love you” “this verse blessed me and I thought I would share it with you”, “I am sorry”, “I am so proud of you”, ect… written on everything from post-its and daddy’s famous yellow note pads , to pretty stationary and embossed cards.


Sometimes I like to go back and read through all of them and it always…always makes me cry and miss people.




For some reason, this evening I decided to take them all out and read them again since it had been several months since I read them last and I also had some to add to the collection.


I expected to cry, but I did not expect God to use words that were written years ago to encourage me as much as He did!





For those of you who don’t know them, Bob and Nancy Buchanan were two of the most influential people in my life from the ages of around 7 or 8 up until the time of their death when I was 14. “Grandma Nancy” and I used to exchange handwritten letters that started out as mailing each other stickers and talking about animals and flowers. However, some of the final letters before her passing, were chock full of biblical truths and deep spiritual

conversations that really helped to lay the groundwork for me and deepened my walk with the Lord. Little did either of us know that several years down the road, I would be wishing so badly to sit down with her and talk like we used to and ask her all my hard questions like I used to, and I would pull out those letters.



For the benefit of all of us I typed up some excerpts from those letters that I wanted to share with y’all.




In a note card dated exactly 5 years ago last Thursday,




“I am Glad God lifted you out of a spiritual low. I pray that you’re finding God to be everything you need and want and that He alone can satisfy the deepest longings in your heart. No one can ever satisfy like Jesus. I can attest to the fact that after 50+ years of walking with Him that He is more precious to me each day. Just remember that time alone with Him will bring you true joy.”



Written before that one on January 23rd, 2006



“I love to claim a verse that meant so much to our son who is now with Jesus. It is 1 Timothy 1:7 and says: “God has not given us a spirit of timidity or fear but, of love, power and self discipline.” Keep putting on the armor every morning and yield, all that you have and all that you are, to Him. I thank God for His great faithfulness to each of us. He is always there to be whatever we need A rock, a refuge, a shelter, a strong tower, a friend, a Father, our joy, our peace, our burden bearer, our strength, our deliverer and so much more. He wants to be our everything. I’m sure the experiences you have had, God has used in your growth of faith!! May He keep you covered with His blood.”



And later on in the same letter



“We feel like God may bring us back to NE someday, and how much we would like to be with all of you. It doesn’t appear that it will be right away. We think He is saying stay put for now and just wait on Me. If we had our way we would probably have left yesterday! God seems to want Bob to keep plugging away at his insurance job right now. He would so much rather be in full time ministry again. We don’t know out future, we just take one day at a time, knowing our future is in His hands and that is where we want it to be. He has never failed us, and has been very good to us in 45yrs of marriage! Hallelujah what a Savior!”





I love the way God works, I love how she wrote all those words intending them to encourage me and 5 years later I would be sitting at my computer typing this up and bawling because those truths and encouragements meet me at a place where I need to hear and hearing them from her is just that much more special!!




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Philosophy #2

>> Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I came across this today on a friends facebook and it completely and totally sums up my life and wardrobe choices.


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Valentines day

>> Monday, February 14, 2011


This is my cupid:



So far he has only thrown blocks and other hard baby toys so I am not too confident in his arrow shooting capabilities at this point. ;-)




But I LOVE HIM!!!!! Oh my gosh... he melts my little heart like nothing else..




Whoopsie Daisey! Gotta pick up those chocolates he dropped!





Yep, this is my valentine this year. Cutest one I have ever had! Solly, May I be your valentine till you graduate highschool? (You are NOT allowed to date till then btw) Thank you Punkin!

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Converse

>> Friday, February 11, 2011

So Solly and I both got super awesome and cool converse shoes... I decided to see how many ways I could differently take pictures of the same thing, the result is below. Favorites?

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Photo of the day (2-10-11)

Today I got to watch both Easton and Solly again (we are making this a habit every Thursday) and lets just say we had loads of fun! Oh and let us also say that I am NEVER using that carrier with a boy as big as Solly again. My back still hurts! :-P


(Sorry about the poor photo quality... you know.. dark hallways.. iPhone cameras...)

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Random Photo of the day

>> Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Solly always cries or fusses when someone leaves. Lately he has been running to the baby gate that keeps him from going down stairs and giving me a goodbye kiss... makes me melt in a little puddle and not want to leave :-)

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